Lyrics
Darkness takin over once again
Can't find the smile that I need no more to help me play pretend
This time I'm keepin my emotions in the open
As I'm growing more bold to put this pistol to my chin
I am sorry that I cannot get a win
Every time I'm on the up I fall down in spiral spin
Tryna hope that I'm forgiven of my sins
But my priorities survival if I stop then there's no end
See my mental state is in a sharp decline
And my mind is tellin me my faith will help me
But I won't get out alive
Put my hopes into the heavens and the being watching over me
But slowly I feel like I'm losing site of him I'm blind
I'm intertwined in these vines
See it happens and I'm fine but now I'm so caught up I cant break out but I'm tryin
Am I dyin? I don't know but I feel if I do than I'm
Just another failure who will be forgotten over time
I miss the days of carefree
The childhood before
I was beaten by my bullies
And I had made it to grown
When my brother was alive
And my momma wasn't broke
When I had a real smile and the world I called my home
I was happy in the sunshine
Was happy in the rain
Before depression and these mental problems took over my brain
Miss the feeling of the glow
The laughs and all the magic
Now its gone I can't even fuckin feel nostalgic
It is all a distant memory
And one I can't hold one too
Cause life hasn't took a toll on me, my change it just has squandered
I just wish a better life but wishes are only a hope
And hope is just a comedy to life, man what a joke
How much more can I take of it? A question I don't know
One day I may just pull the trigger cause I can no longer cope
See I am shatter to pieces tryna sweep up all the shards
But even if put back together, it's more fragile than it's start
I no longer want forgiveness
I want your understanding
I don't want your thoughts and prayers
I just want what I'm demanding and what that is
Is life to no longer be a challenge
I want this damn depression to be gone and just be Alex
My soul it cannot handle it
My heart breaks everyday
And the air I breathe is tarnished from the toxins in my brain
No longer sorry
I finally get exactly what I want
It's for darkness to take over so I can embrace its haunt
Alex Gleason
O/B/O DistroKid